The Gift of Knowing Your Eternal Destiny

I admit it. I'm a wimp.

Almost two years ago, I was facing a prostate cancer biopsy. My urologist told me it would be nothing to worry about..it just felt like rubber band snaps against the prostate..and that I would do fine without a local.

However, twelve needles being injected into my prostate hardly seemed to be a transparent procedure. The night before my biopsy I was up all night reading and researching the procedure over the internet. I convinced myself I was going to die in agony from this procedure.

The next day I walked into the doctor's office and asked for lidocaine. When I was told that this urologist did not offer it, much to the dismay of my wife, I walked out.

I ended up getting a second opinion from a doctor who did offer lidocaine. Come to find out that with the local, the procedure was not all that terrible..the worst part was the instrument up the anus (I feel sorry for urologists having to deal with people's butts all day for a living..yuck).

Now having prostate cancer, particularly the type that escaped the prostate bounds (fortunately hopefully still locally) I have found myself reflecting on death and dying. Now I know my prognosis is good, but even if I am cured of cancer, all this cure represents is a delay of the inevitable for 10-40 years or so.

I am convinced that the biggest blessing one can have this side of the grave is the gift of knowing your eternal destiny. This knowledge makes all of the difference even when thinking about the prospect of death.

Now on a scale of 1-10, I have been a reasonably well-behaved person. I don't have a prison record, I support my family, and I don't lose my temper all that easily. So in a scale of "goodness" I might have some optimism I might be in the top 50% (but maybe the middle 33%).

But gosh, I would hate to have my confidence in my eternal destiny based on how well behaved I have or have not been. For starters, I live with myself and I know how I fall short. How good would I have to be anyway to have eternal life? Certainly I have not been as good as Mother Theresa or Billy Graham or many of the saints of the ages. And when I compare my life with the one perfect life that has been lived on earth, I certainly fall far short.

Now I can turn to the Bible and promises found within it. For example John 3:16 says "that whosoever believes on Him should not perish but have everlasting life". Now this is better because it indicates that my eternal destiny is not based on how well I behave but somehow based on "believing on Him." So I am set free from worrying about somehow being good enough for eternal life.

But how do I know that I am believing on Him? What if I think and profess that I am believing on Him but really am not? After all, didn't Jesus say that many will say to Him "Lord, Lord.." but He will respond "Depart from me I never knew you". Were these folks believing on him? Or more accurately, did these folks think they were believing on Him only to find out (too late) they really were not. What if I think that I have faith but really do not.

So then I can look back on my life and reflect on how I came to start believing. I can remember that dorm room at Eastman School of Music when I prayed with another student to ask Jesus Christ into life and transform my life. And I can look upon the events that transpired shortly after this point as evidence that yest indeed my life was transformed.

But that was then and this is now. How do I know this event is still valid today. Certainly I have not renounced what Jesus did in my life that day. But could I somehow drifted away from it as the writer of Hebrews warns us about. Now maybe I could put stock in the theology that it is impossible for a genuine Christian to lose his salvation. But what if this theology is wrong (a good number of Christians don't buy into it). Is basing ones assurance of salvation on a particular theology, particularly one that is not universally agreed upon, a good idea.

What I need is more of an assurance of my eternal destiny than one that is based on (1) how "good" I am, (2) head knowledge of Biblical promises, (3) a certain theology, or (4) a historical event. I have become convinced that the best assurance I can have of knowing my eternal destiny is one that God pours into my soul. This is a gift that God gives.

Then I can reflect on what God has done in my life including how it all began and praise Him because His presence is still real in my life and He is with me today. As important as the starting point is, I think the finishing point is even more important, and Jesus is real today.

Then I can look in the Bible and see the promises of God and praise God that He is faithful because He is with me today.

As far as how good I may or may not be..who cares. That is not the point.

As cancer has forced me to reflect more upon my life and eventual death, God has been giving this gift to me and I thank Him for it.